looking back...

I always put off posting new blogs because I never know quite how to put it into words. I think my best ideas/thoughts hit me while I'm running, but once I get home and open up my macbook, it's like I turn into a bumbling fool who can't seem to come up with the right words. In the middle of all the busyness, I did want to reflect on 2009 and then look ahead to 2010. The year 2009 was actually quite an eventful one, though not in all the ways I had hoped. I memorized 16 Scriptures, thanks to Beth. I was so moved by a reunion at the Catalyst conference that I began sponsoring a child with Compassion International. I participated in and completed a 10-day Daniel fast with my church for the first time. I became an aunt to THE most darling baby you've ever seen. I started running and discovered discipline I never knew I had (or, more accurately, discipline was given to me from a merciful and gracious God). I was able to complete three 5K races and even one 8K race! So, after looking at all these things, I asked myself, "What do I want 2010 to look like? What do I want to do differently?" I realized that almost all of the things I wanted to change are things that are under my control. Um, hello there, HUGE WEIGHT on my shoulders. It seems so simple when I write the list: grow in godliness, lose weight/eat healthier, memorize more Scripture...but it seems impossible when I try to live it out! How can I be given the discipline to exercise regularly for over a year and not have discipline to eat the right way? Doesn't discipline = discipline, no matter what area? The way that I finally got into the habit of running wasn't to start running 3 miles a day...I worked up to it gradually. So how can I do that with eating healthier?

As a sidenote, I was feeling this frustration as well with my daily quiet times with God. I didn't seem to have the discipline to be consistent with studying the Bible. However, since the beginning of the year, I am reading through the entire Bible with my church in 90 days and WHOA. God is starting a revolution in my heart! He's making His Word come alive - even the Old Testament! I'm so grateful that He has allowed me to stay with the reading so far. I am praying that He will continue to give me the grace and stamina to complete it. "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." Finish it in me, Lord!