There are days, as a teacher, that I come home and wonder what the heck I'm doing. I'm not really making a difference. I can't. There's too much I'm up against. I try to help these kids, but any good effect I can have on them is erased as soon as they go home. Please don't misunderstand: I'm not saying that I'm all good and the parents are all bad. And there are many parents who really do support their child's education and well-being. But since my class is comprised of "at-risk" students, I don't interact with those supportive parents much. You'd think that the home environments of many of these kids would be enough for
someone to do
something. I wish I could say to them,
do you see what you are doing? Do you even care that your child is dirty, always comes to school hungry, never gets a good night's sleep, doesn't wear a coat when it's cold even though they had one in their bookbag last week? If poverty means having a huge TV or video games to keep your child out of your hair but not enough money to buy them clothes that fit, then I don't understand it and I don't want to accept it. I've been reading a book by Beth Moore about insecurity, and the current chapter talks about having a passion, something that keeps us striving toward a goal outside of ourselves so that we don't become so wrapped up in our own lives. And I was thinking that my passion could be these kids, the ones in my class that just need love and attention. But even if I give them my love and attention, is that enough? Can it still be my passion when I get so frustrated with the parent who consistently puts her child in danger by staying with an abusive spouse? What kind of change can I make when I'm fighting against a mom who is with her 4th live-in boyfriend and having her 5th child?
And then. It hit me.
I can't. Only God can.
All I can do is pray that God will use me to perform a miracle in their lives.
All I can do is hug my students, ask them about how their morning was.
All I can do is put Band-Aids on his boo-boos, give him clean socks, and love him.
Jesus does the rest.
Lord, have mercy on these little hearts.
