There are days, as a teacher, that I come home and wonder what the heck I'm doing. I'm not really making a difference. I can't. There's too much I'm up against. I try to help these kids, but any good effect I can have on them is erased as soon as they go home. Please don't misunderstand: I'm not saying that I'm all good and the parents are all bad. And there are many parents who really do support their child's education and well-being. But since my class is comprised of "at-risk" students, I don't interact with those supportive parents much. You'd think that the home environments of many of these kids would be enough for
someone to do
something. I wish I could say to them,
do you see what you are doing? Do you even care that your child is dirty, always comes to school hungry, never gets a good night's sleep, doesn't wear a coat when it's cold even though they had one in their bookbag last week? If poverty means having a huge TV or video games to keep your child out of your hair but not enough money to buy them clothes that fit, then I don't understand it and I don't want to accept it. I've been reading a book by Beth Moore about insecurity, and the current chapter talks about having a passion, something that keeps us striving toward a goal outside of ourselves so that we don't become so wrapped up in our own lives. And I was thinking that my passion could be these kids, the ones in my class that just need love and attention. But even if I give them my love and attention, is that enough? Can it still be my passion when I get so frustrated with the parent who consistently puts her child in danger by staying with an abusive spouse? What kind of change can I make when I'm fighting against a mom who is with her 4th live-in boyfriend and having her 5th child?
And then. It hit me.
I can't. Only God can.
All I can do is pray that God will use me to perform a miracle in their lives.
All I can do is hug my students, ask them about how their morning was.
All I can do is put Band-Aids on his boo-boos, give him clean socks, and love him.
Jesus does the rest.
Lord, have mercy on these little hearts.
Hi Melody,
ReplyDeleteI stumbled upon your blog via the Siesta Scripture Memory post. I love music, so your name stood out to me (beautiful). I read your first couple of most recent posts, and was just blessed by your heart for God. You are a beautiful young lady, and I can tell you love the Lord, and want to please Him. Bless you for being a teacher, and for loving on those children. Though you may not always see the benefit of the little kindnesses you do each day, you are planting seeds that will some day become a harvest beyond your imagination! I am a mom of four, and I love to see young women with a heart for God out there loving on little ones who may get so little at home. God bless you, Melody, and keep up the good work!
A sister in Christ,
Jeanine Ferenczy